Have you ever stopped to think about how most of us prepare for marriage and childbirth and then once that is accomplished, we fall by the roadside? How many websites, magazines, articles, CD’s etc are there dedicated to these subjects? We are prepared for the BIG DAY: the wedding day, the delivery day- yet how many of us find a sense of disillusionment in life after the BIG DAY has been? We are simply- unprepared!

It is not that preparing for one’s wedding day or impending birth of a child is wrong in itself, but to focus all one’s attention on the BIG DAY and lose focus on the YEARS thereafter is foolhardy. After all, a marriage comes after a wedding and a lifetime of parenting comes after a birth. The years after the BIG DAY is where the rubber meets the road..

So many women put all their attention on their wedding- the preparations, the drama, the dreaming, the romance and the culmination of years of planning and rehearsing in her head. But once married, how many are prepared for the hard work of tending and nurturing that marriage. For marriage is hard work at times and we would be foolish to think otherwise.

Let’s be honest: how many of us have taken the time to study about marriage as the institution it is- not the romanticized notion but the reality? Often if we have not prepared and studied not only the scriptures on marriage but studied and observed our husbands- we will find ourselves being bogged down by feelings of disillusionment and disenchantment.

Likewise, how many of us expectant mothers haven’t bothered to read up on childbirth, practiced all the exercises and relaxation tips for labor, eaten well and obsessed about ours and our child’s health? But how many of us have read up on child-raising, education, and marital adjustment and so forth for the years of parenting ahead? It is very short-sighted to place all one’s attention on the delivery of a child to the neglect of acquiring knowledge about the raising of that child. After all, childbirth is a day, parenthood is for life!

We must equip ourselves and our daughters to be the best wives (not brides), the best mothers (not laboring women), so that they will be well prepared to cope with the reality of life. When the rubber meets the road and they find that their BIG DAYS are followed by years of hard work and effort, they will be women of strength, fortitude and confidence- and they will be wonderful wives and mothers.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks