...a God to serve...a family to love... a work to do...

Control Freaks?

Today I want to challenge you to be more flexible.

Let me ask you something…. are you a control freak? Do you fee like you must be in control of everything in your life and the lives of your family? Are there just things you wish you could control but you know you can’t? Do you hate change?

Life is too big for any one person to control. And there are simply too many facets to life for any of us to control all of them. Our nature makes us want to, though. We want to be in control and know all the outcomes before they happen. We don’t want things to change once they are where we want them. You’re not the only one who struggles with these feelings.

This translates into a Homekeeper’s life as frustration. Frustration… because the hall closet isn’t decluttered, because the laundry isn’t all folded and put away, there are a few dishes in the sink or the handles on the cups are turned the wrong way in the cabinet. It creates frustration for us again when people don’t think they way we do or when people have a way of doing things that isn’t like our way of doing things.

Lets face it, its not all going to get done every day, all the time. Be flexible. Loosen up. Allow people in your family to try things a different way. Be open to new ways of accomplishing your household tasks. Try something you have never tried before; a new recipe, a new way of household scheduling.

You probably already know where your personal struggles lie. You know if you’re working hard and doing what needs to be done. And you probably also know if you’re trying to do more than one person can do on a daily basis. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t work hard in your home, I happen to believe that if you’re a homekeeper, that is your JOB. You work at your job just like you would do if you left home every day to work for someone else.

One of the things my husband and I had to loosen up about and get used to was the way children do chores. Towels are not always folded perfectly, t-shirts are not always in the right drawer. Windows sometimes have streaks and dishes may be stacked precariously now and then.

Children are learning how to do all these things so we have to relax and allow them to learn. Since we have taught our children at home for the past 20 years, we require them to have household chores. With a house full of people almost 24/7, everyone has to pitch in. We require them to go back and re-do some of it, but for the most part, we allow things to be less than perfect. And its been that way for the last 28 years. We feel like people are more important than a clean house and relationships are more important than perfection.

Letting go of controlling every small detail gives me great freedom and peace in my household.

So, here at the beginning of the holidays, let me leave you with this thought; You don’t have to do things the way your friends do them, you don’t have to do things the way someone on the internet does them….Find your own way of doing things that fits your family.  Life can be easier and more pleasant when you relax and enjoy what you are doing at home.


  1. Jen@Thoughts Of A Working Mom

    Sylvia, what a great article, and timely as usual. I have referenced this article in an upcoming blog entry that I am posting on Nov 8, and I hope you come and see exactly what an awesome influence you are!


    Thanks again for all that you do!

  2. Dawn Marie

    WOW!!! I think you were writing about ME! I am so bad at this sort of stuff, letting go….I will pray and work on this more :-)….thank you for your post.